keep it locked up INSIDE!!!

i like your advice chester, but seriously, its self destructing. well im not going to lie someone in my family is not doing very well health wise. this person doesnt want to get better and thinks medication is going to make them better. what they dont realize is that they're going to be on this medication for the rest of their life. its really frustrating because me and the rest of my family are fighting tooth and nail for her even though she doesnt want to. its like she's forfieting the game before it even started. she doesnt want to do all the things that it takes for her to live better because it's hard. it's adding to all the pressure i already have from everyone else. im seriously going to explode. i cant explode on anyone in my family cause i get yelled at even more. im so sick of the constant headaches i keep having on the back of my f-king head. i know its from stress. i cant cry cause if i cry im seen as weak. i work out to keep my sanity, its the only way to clear my head (and blogging of course)
plus i see people i used to be friends with back in the day on facebook, its nice to know that most of them havent changed one bit. i really wish i could be friends with some of them again, but they're too much of an asshole for me to be friends with them again. i honestly couldn't believe this one chick i knew from my old dancing days had the nerve to apologize to me for all the mean things she did and when i wanted to talk to her again....she had the NERVE to pretend i didn't exist! she didn't mean a word she said to me! her SISTER is a better human being than she is! funny thing is she preachs how much of a good person she is by going to sunday school and posting all this religous bullshit. the case is the same with all those chicks (with a couple of exceptions) who bullied me. they all pretend they did nothing wrong and they're the most self righteous people in the world. they will never know how much hurt i had to go through. i still remember as clear as day all the vicious rumors they spread, how they left me out of everything/singled me out, i will NEVER forget the lonliness i felt, i will NEVER forget the feeling of pretending that i didnt exist.
the one thing i want is to have them go through the same hell i did. because they just simply don't know what kind of hell they put me through and they dont know how much they damaged me. but they also dont know is how much stronger i am because of it.

back to reality

i just came back from visiting my cousin in kansas city. i had fun...we played halo 3, watched battle at the smithsonian at the AMC's fork and dine experience. (we had dinner beforehand, so we just had a dessert), we had a nice drive to the lake, and we went to Legends in village west. but all the stores were closing when we went there. in between all that we basically went grocery shopping, so my mom would cook food, so we didnt have to go out to dinner all the time. speaking of going out we went to this great authentic italian restuarant called buca di peppo's. it was amazing. the restuarant's theme was "mama's house". it was filled with pictures of family, and home decor. when u come in (or when ur table is ready) the hostess takes u through the place, where u could easily get lost in, and introduces you to the servers and waiters before u get to ur table. im pretty sure this is part of the "family" feel they were going for. so when the waiter/ess comes to your table you already know the people. the portions that were given were huge. everything that was served is meant to be shared. there were five of us and we got the buca large and that was a mistake cause it was HUGE. we got alferedo supremo and salmon pesto. both were fantastic. and for dessert we got double layer chocolate cake. which was amazing. (dont worry i did an indoor workout the next day) so all i have to say is olive garden got pwn'd!

here are my latest batch of pictures that i took in grand rapids. also available here ...i'll upload my other ones later

so give me reason to prove me wrong.......

new divide premiered yesterday...at first i thought it was "what i've done part 2"....but ive heard it three times now and it really did "prove me wrong" . i get chills when chester sings mostly acapella towards the end. the song is perfect for transformers 2. not that ive seen it or anything it just seems like it would go with the theme of the movie. there was this guy trentreznor on LP message boards....if that really is Trent Reznor from NIN , im really suprised. that guy is super critical on "new" bands , which is bands that came after his. but from what i saw quoted on this hater on the message boards Trent said that MTM had a lack of concept. as a album, yes i'd agree. seems like this guy is a fan though because when i thought about it Hybrid Theory and Meteora flowed better as an album rather than MTM did. that is assuming trentreznor is in fact Trent Reznor. maybe he was on there cause he was flattered on how LP covered "wish". look it up on youtube its freakin brilliant. or maybe he was pissed. .....again assuming that was actually him.

so im really bored as u can see...working out regularly....trying to call entertainment dept to confirm my start date. my bro is out of town...so im going to the gym by myself. ugh its so boring...here i want to go to my best friends place...but she's going to thereapy every other day...all the rest of my friends are outta here...and the one friend i did have wasnt a friend at all....i do have people i can talk to on this little place i call the internet. its refreshing.

oh and angels and demons sucked. tom hanks saved that movie from becoming a flop.

yay twitter!

so as i mentioned in my last post, i got a twitter account. since then i have been twittering like nuts. chester (from LP) has replied TWICE! i couldnt believe it the first time he did, and i still couldnt believe he did the second time. you can see his twitter here. and you could also view and follow me on here so other than that news, im almost done with classes just one more exam to take. gotta get ready to send my transcripts into cardinal stritch as soon as grades are posted. im also doing pretty good with my new workout. im losing all the fat around my stomach and gaining muscle. which is what i want. less fat more muscle. im upping my cardio to 25 min each workout instead of 20...and i just do circuit training which is a combo of cardio and weight lifting. so nothing real interesting going on in my life.....unless u find it interesting....if so then good for u.

so onto a topic: well lets see, theres music, nope done that, politics: done that, entertainment: done that....what else?
ahh here's one....hippy liberals
normally i would get offended if someone would say that to me, but i say go ahead call me that...i believe in peace not war...i walk around barefooted most of the time around my house....i have long hair...i DID have a tye dye shirt, i have no idea where it is now....i believe in loving all people no matter who they love, and most of all i believe we are all one.....i know thats a really hippy way of thinking but thats who i am. and no im not a stoner (read my 4/20 blog).

so its getting late...i'll post whenever i come up with something better......and maybe post some pics (i know i keep saying that...but i'll do it eventually)...so for now...c ya!

okay this'll be short

sorry, im not going to post my signature long blog. im gonna try and make this one short. the reason im not posting here so much is because i got a twitter (www.twitter.com/supriyahearts), so i post mini blogs through out the day. i also found out the chester from LP just got one. isnt that just awesome or what? all i need is adam levine to get one, then my life would be complete. lol. so most of my exams will be done this week. so i'll be done with that. im switching schools this year i'll be going to cardinal stritch this year, i dont know what i'll do after that. maybe get a marketing degree. i went to grand rapids last weekend. my family has friends they wanted to visit there. i played with kids the entire time, i was really bored. i'll put up pics when i can*sighs* life gets more and more complicated as you get older kids.

im out.