i havent written in awhile

there is so much going on in my life right now that i feel like im going to explode at times. i wont reveal too much but some of it has to do with my family but most of it has to do with me. i fear a lot. i fear i will die alone, i fear that i will never reach my career goals, i fear that i will be stuck at home for the rest of my life. my parents dont really understand what i go through, what i deal with everyday nor do they make an effort to. i think that was what sent me over the edge. i constantly feel under appreciated for everything i do for them and i feel like i have to force a thank you out of them every time. but in the end all i really needed was just a couple of days to myself which i did and i feel a lot better.

moving on.....im just relieved that new moon is nearing its release date so i wont have to see all of those ads for it on tv or the cast coming on my shows i watch and promoting it like their life depends on it. and im very tired of hearing the stupid rob and kristin rumors. its very clear from the body language i saw on the today show, (hey i was bored and i didnt feel like changing the channel) that they were in fact hiding that they are dating. my bro even noticed the little freudian slips kristin gave on the today show. i just wish those two would just say yes we are dating and move on so they dont take up anymore of my show's time. i never even read the books or seen the movie and i know what the hell is going on which is even sadder.

i have also recently have seen that chick carrie prejean on cnn, promoting her book and how she's a victim and crap. it wasnt even her stand on gay marriage that got me mad (frankly, i thought it was she was entitled to her opinion, if she were to say that to me i wouldve told her "to rewrite the constitution so you cant vote ,go to war, not marry) i lost all respect for that chick when she played the victim card when this supposed "christian" has a sex tape. unbelievable. she justifies her claims by putting blame on the liberals whenever they attack conservatives. again unbelievable. you know you cant take this chick seriously especially when she calls sarah palin her hero. and that wasnt even the hilarious part, it was the fact that she calls herself accomplished that was so funny. im sorry but what did she accomplish exactly other than being hated by most of nation?

thats it for now...i'll write more soon