keep it locked up INSIDE!!!

i like your advice chester, but seriously, its self destructing. well im not going to lie someone in my family is not doing very well health wise. this person doesnt want to get better and thinks medication is going to make them better. what they dont realize is that they're going to be on this medication for the rest of their life. its really frustrating because me and the rest of my family are fighting tooth and nail for her even though she doesnt want to. its like she's forfieting the game before it even started. she doesnt want to do all the things that it takes for her to live better because it's hard. it's adding to all the pressure i already have from everyone else. im seriously going to explode. i cant explode on anyone in my family cause i get yelled at even more. im so sick of the constant headaches i keep having on the back of my f-king head. i know its from stress. i cant cry cause if i cry im seen as weak. i work out to keep my sanity, its the only way to clear my head (and blogging of course)
plus i see people i used to be friends with back in the day on facebook, its nice to know that most of them havent changed one bit. i really wish i could be friends with some of them again, but they're too much of an asshole for me to be friends with them again. i honestly couldn't believe this one chick i knew from my old dancing days had the nerve to apologize to me for all the mean things she did and when i wanted to talk to her again....she had the NERVE to pretend i didn't exist! she didn't mean a word she said to me! her SISTER is a better human being than she is! funny thing is she preachs how much of a good person she is by going to sunday school and posting all this religous bullshit. the case is the same with all those chicks (with a couple of exceptions) who bullied me. they all pretend they did nothing wrong and they're the most self righteous people in the world. they will never know how much hurt i had to go through. i still remember as clear as day all the vicious rumors they spread, how they left me out of everything/singled me out, i will NEVER forget the lonliness i felt, i will NEVER forget the feeling of pretending that i didnt exist.
the one thing i want is to have them go through the same hell i did. because they just simply don't know what kind of hell they put me through and they dont know how much they damaged me. but they also dont know is how much stronger i am because of it.